– [Host] From Choctaw Resort in Durant, Oklahoma, this, is ‘Poker Night In America’. (upbeat music) Welcome to ‘Poker Night In America. I’m Chris Hanson, along with Joe Stapleton, we are at Choctaw Resort, in Durant Oklahoma. – Coming up on today’s show, a somehow less funny version of Gallagher is at the table. And he managed to get under Phil Hellmuth’s skin, so unlike the actual Gallagher, it’s entertaining.
– [Hanson] Day One here at Choctaw, these are the buy-ins, Phil Hellmuth, his usual short buy. Brandon Cantu, making his debut on ‘Poker Night In America’. It’s good to see “Any-Two-Cantu” joining us.
And don’t forget BJ Imejjane, a person who’s entire last name looks like a typo. – What’d you say earlier? I was talking over the top of you.
You told me to shutup- – And then you did it to me- – You told me to shutup right? -Yeah. -Alright. – Get the popcorn! – Just wanna get that on record.
– Oh boy. – If you wanna start whining I brought some Kleenex for you okay. – I bet you’re a really classy guy. – I am so classy. – Mhmm I can tell. I can tell.
– [Hanson] Brandon Cantu makes it 150. – You know what you kinda remind me of Lyin’ Ted Cruz you know? You need to hold up the poker book and then play your hand’s different to what you say you’re s’posed to. – Well I haven’t been called a liar in 30 years. You’re showing a lot of class here. Throw me those tissues.
I need to cry, bring ’em over. Show everybody, you threw me tissues, told me to cry, called me a liar- – I thought you had allergies. – Can you finish all your insults at once, or do I have to wait? – I got plenty of ’em.
– Really? You called me a liar, whiner, threw me tissues. You’re a class act.
Told me to shutup. If I quit this show early at least we’ll know cause of you. – Oh don’t do that man. – Why not? I don’t have to be here. I’m just messin’ around, I don’t care.
– Oh boy. – You don’t have to run off like a little baby either, I mean stick around and play. – Called me a baby. Let’s get the insult meter up. You gotta have a panel up there, insults, are you just gonna rotate in strange guys I’ve never heard of before? (laughter) I mean what do you do?
You give ’em, here’s the 10 insults I want at Phil, Bink-Bink-Bink-Bink he ran off five insults in one hand. He doesn’t know how bad he’s gonna look on national television when this comes out. He’s gonna be there, and his wife’s gonna say “What were you doing? You don’t act that way at home”. -Yeah, he probably does act that way at home. He’s gonna be like “Oh I’m so embarrassed honey, I can’t believe the whole world’s watching me make fun of Phil.
– How much whining you gonna do man? [Hanson] and now a bottle. – But now he threw me a bottle, that’s insult number six. Can you get- Man, I want a panel okay, this is what I want for the viewers at home, there’s a panel of the Phil insults, beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.
Let’s see how many he can fill, like the whole television with insults. – Hey Phil, Phil. Don’t take it personal. – [Stapleton] Alright either this guy came prepared for these gags or he’s just into some really weird stuff. – Seven.
You got any more insults? Let’s get ’em all out now. [Cantu] I’m not folding but I’m thinking. Alright I’m all in.
– [Dealer] All in. – [Phillips] All in and a call. Wow, what a flop. [Stapleton] Up and down straight flush draw and top pair versus top and bottom pair. – So how many outs does Phil have to get to the ten binks before the end of this hand?
– Somehow Cate Hall missed all of her outs. – [Multiple People] Ohhhh! – Jinxed it!
– Saved by the bell. [Stapleton] This hand ends in a chop. – [Cantu] Oh those are some big hands. Jeez. -Unlike Donald Trump’s hands which are very tiny.
– What’s the percentage there Phil, you always coach me on percentages. Cate you’re a Yale person, what’s the percentage on that? [Stapleton] My cousin went to Yale. His name was Jeremiah Johnson.
– But there’s no room to put 51 per cent on the screen ‘cos right now it’s full of insults. – There’s more hilarious prop jokes, or insults to Phil, after the break. – For more from Poker Night, visit pokernight.com or find us on Twitch, Facebook, Twitter or Youtube, where you can see complete episodes and unedited live streams. – Okay when I insult you, you take my chips away, that’ll kind of make us even right? – I feel like that might be the case.
Now see I like that move. – Yeah, I agree. – [Phil] You can pull that out on me, I don’t mind. -Okay. – So you and I are kind of best friends now, huh? – I have fights with a lot of people, but at the end of the day almost everybody I get along with.
Just ‘cos I start off on the wrong foot with somebody doesn’t mean I don’t get along with them. – [Hanson] It’s good to know that even though Jim Carroll and Phil Hellmuth got started on the wrong foot, it’s seems like calmer heads- – I’m sure that this could go South again in a heartbeat. – I’ll play this one blind.
– [Stapleton] What did this guy bring a trunk full of props? Carrot-top meet cauliflower-top. If I can make it 2k on the turn, I can go for all the chips.
I don’t think you can fold aces. – You gotta tell me when it’s my turn. – I’ll help describe the action for you, 200 from Dennis. – 200 from Dennis.
– 150, it’s on Cate. She calls. [Hanson] We can take the rest of the hand off, Phil’s got it, Stapes. – It’s on me? Are these greens or blacks?
– Black. – [Stapleton] I didn’t know it was possible to be less funnier than carrot-top but Jim Carroll-top is giving him a good run. – [Phil] Should I keep the running commentary going? – Yeah keep it going, I gotta know what’s going on man, can’t see nothing.
– Somehow he’s got Ace, Queen. – Dennis is thinking about raising. – It’s on Todd.
– Why is Todd in that hand? – I’m not. – He folds just now. – Yay. – [Hanson] Like 15 minutes ago, Phil Hellmuth wanted to rip Jim Carroll’s head off.
Now he’s helping him cross the street. – [Hanson] Is that an eye pillow, Stapes, that Carroll is wearing, what is that? – I knew that was comin’. – 1400 total.
– What?! – [Stapleton] I’m just wondering how much of his S&M kit he brought with him on this trip. – What color are these?
– Green. – Not very good. I’m lookin’. (laughter) – I don’t blame you. (laughter) – I wish I could wear a blindfold watching this guy play.
– Okay, how many chips you got down there Dennis? – I think most people for this show think ear muffs would be more appropriate. (laughter) – That includes the two of us. – Alright you go first. – [Stapleton] Carroll somehow hits top pair despite the fact that he was dominated before the flop.
– 22? – Not even a pot sized bet. – Okay so that means you limped originally and then you re-raised ‘cos I did a donkey 400.
Now you’re throwin’ 22 out there. – [Stapleton] He’s not even as good an actor as Carrot-top- Chris, I know you love Chairman of the Board -you don’t have a set or you wouldn’t have done that. – Never saw it. – You’re missing out.
– [Stapleton] If you watch it, Carrot-top pays you. – I raise. – [Hanson] Back to Dennis Phillips. – 2500 more? – [Stapleton] I think at this point Dennis is pretty clear that he doesn’t have the best hand. He’s got out to the nuts but, not a very good shot at hitting it.
– Uh oh here comes something else. – Phillip, Dennis. Hand lose.
– Yoda. – Over-shot. – This guy has white magic.
He’ll read your mind. – Fold you must. – Folks out there, white magic. Yoda reads minds That’s what white magic is. – [Stapleton] Put me down, violated I feel.
– Yoda, is Dennis gonna lose this hand? – I’m too afraid to actually try a Yoda impression, do you have one? [Hanson] (Yoda voice) Ooohh.. [Stapleton] (laughs) (Yoda voice) Bullets you dodge can. – Okay that’s why I didn’t attempt it. – Yeah it’s not very good.
[Stapleton] (Yoda voice) Hmmm…fold you must. – See now that’s good. – Like you’re a pro, and if you fold and I’m bluffing, it’s gonna be on TV, you’re gonna look like a donkey.
But if you call and I got the better hand, you’re gonna look like a donkey. So the only move you have really is to go all in, and hope that I get scared off and throw my hand away. – That’s one option.
– There’s no way you can come out lookin’ good in this. You know I gotcha. – [Hanson] Dennis Phillips just fold already – Yeah maybe I’ll have to get lucky then. – [Hanson] I wanna see what else Jim Carroll has in his bag. – I call.
– [Stapleton] Woah he talked him into it. Dennis Phillips calling the raise, with just 16 percent equity. -I check Probably thinks both his overs are good, we know they’re not. – What’d you write in your book about this Phil?
What am I supposed to do here? I’ll check it. – [Stapleton] That Diamond and a Jack is a bit of a scare card, goes check-check. – No I check.
– You’re checking? – [Stapleton] Yep, woke up with Ace, Queen in the dark. – I did beat the Aces. – You did kill the Aces off.
– But I saved you like 3K by playing it. – I am sorry you didn’t get all the good chips, you should’ve held that hand. You played it- You played it wrong against an amateur. – Alright I’ll fall for it and open it.
– Just a sympathy card is all it is. – This should be good. “In deepest sympathy, please accept my deepest regards for the loss of your chips for not raising. Wishing you peace at this time of sorrow.” But then there’s a big thing written “not”. What is this.
– [Stapleton] Wow, the world’s most elaborate “not” joke. – What’s the “not”? [Stapleton] Psyche!
It’s a sympathy card, I was supposed to win 3K more of his chips, you know. – [Stapleton] That’s hilarious. Not! – I get a lot of gifts when I’m here.
– [Stapleton] I’m sure the next card he has will say “My wife”. You started a little hardcore but it’s easy to warm up to you. Well… – [Stapleton] You know, I’m gonna try to make it with Jim Carroll now. – Okay say your apologies. [Stapleton] I’m…
But I do enjoy the game. – Gonna try harder with you. Your very advanced in the dark – [Hanson] You called him Cauliflower-top, you called him Carroll-top… Uh-huh. Come on. I mean those could be compliments really. – Damn you haven’t played a hand in so long I didn’t even know you were here.
How much is that? Eight hundred and? – 825 total. I call Ahhhhgh. Ahhgh – Okay I won’t needle you anymore, it’s fine.
– Now if I suck out on you, you don’t tilt on me, okay Phil’s been nice, he hadn’t tilted. – [Phil] I’ve tilted. – He tilted on his four for a little while. – At the way I played the six, four of diamonds- – [Hanson] Well, heads up with Todd Brunson and Jim Carroll, Carroll flops a set of tens. I do not think Todd’s one who’s gonna give this up too easily.
We already see him firing out. – One, two, three thousand left huh. – That’s it.
-Two thousand. – [Stapleton] I like a raise here, I think this is gonna hit a large part of Todd’s range. – I’m gonna raise it 1200 – [Stapleton] Looks like Jim agrees with me. – Gave you a little bit of dignity, you can fold.
And still feel good. – Appreciate that. – [Gavin Smith] What happened to that golf cart you had, I liked that. – I got it in my garage, you like that? – [Phil] Is it done?
That’s a beautiful golf cart, I love that. – I’ll take this one, you take the next five. -So, it broke down? -We have five acres.
– [Stapleton] Todd’s gettin’ a pretty good price on a call. – [Hellmuth] Is it broke down or still works? – Ah no it works. – [Stapleton] Assuming that his overs and gut shot are both live, we know the overs are no good.
– They are like the fastest things I’ve ever ridden in. [Brunson] I call. – [Hanson] Wow.
Brunson’s just shipping it all in. Decides he wants to see a turn and river. He’s drawing pretty thin. Very thin now.
– Nooo! – [Hanson] Oh my. – You suck out donkey. (laughter) – God there’s no way you could beat me with skills, so you had to suck out like a donkey. – What the hell were you thinking?
– Yeah there’s no way Todd Brunson could beat you with skill. (muffled whining) I think that was a wonderful play Mr Brunson. Thanks, Gavin. – I experience I’m one of the luckiest guys in the world playing cards and one of the most unlucky guys in the world, like when Brunson sucked out on me. – He’s calling everybody down with anything.
That one part I won where I made a straight against him, he had a set. I had a gut shot. Looked bad, but, he could’ve had a lot of hands, he could’ve had an open and straight either direction. – I’ve been playing that image all day long. I’m losing, so you know, and I let some people run over me and that kind of stuff.
And I’m right in his head, he does exactly what I wanna do. Boom, and he sucks out a King. – I mean it looked bad when he turned over his set obviously but that was the very very top end of his range so, if it was the bottom end of his range I would’ve looked like a genius, it’s just, that’s how poker works sometimes. – Coming up on ‘Poker Night in America’ we are gonna cover all of our bases and include a few more colors of magic. C’mon people, it’s 2016. – Feel like we should play this one just the two of us.
– Yah. – I raise to get rid of her and keep you in. If I, win a big pot with Aces, I apologize.
– Welcome back to Poker Night in America’ from the Choctaw Resort. Cash action, is back under way. – C’mon. – He pressed the button. – He had four outs the entire time.
– No not really. – If Todd books five days in a row in a mixed game, he doesn’t lose, you know? Unless he’s playing like that. Were you playing like that?
– Yeah. (laughter) – That’s the way to shut him down. – Sometimes I do that too, sometimes I play bad.
– Maybe we’re just playing too small for Todd, you know? – Could be yeah. Is that what it is? – [Stapleton] Todd has played in some of the biggest cash games in history. I’m doing it. [Dealer] Raise [Hellmuth] Call Kate Hall makes it 650 with Ace Queen.
– I want the donkey to look at himself right now. – What does it mean when I just snapped it in there? – I dunno. – It means you’re trying to keep me in this damn thing.
– I’d assume it means different things at different times. – Here it looks good though. 650 total? – [Stapleton] Up against their two actual hands, Dennis isn’t doing too badly. – If I can make full house over full house I think this time I’m gonna get paid. – You might, you might, yeah.
[Dealer] Three players – [Stapleton] Cate Hall started with the best hand, flops the best hand. And Phil’s caught his nine. So he may lose a little here. Maybe we’ll see one his classic white magic folds. – [Carroll] Why couldn’t you turn over a set of Jacks, I would’ve felt a lot better.
– Make it 18. [Dealer] Raise to 18 – [Stapleton] Nope. That should get rid of Dennis Phillips and so now back to Cate Hall.
I think the move here for Cate is to smooth call even though I can see the hold cards. It’s just so unlikely that Phil has a Queen and when he does, he’s probably not gonna raise it. So you don’t wanna chase him out of this pot. Either way you look strong there. – Wow, thought I had the stone cold nuts, now I have to wonder.
Now I’m confused. – How does a Full House sound? That one scared me – [Stapleton] Sounds much better than a bad two-pair. Cate deciding she can’t get three full streets so, takes the turn off.
– Wow this is really cold. – [Stapleton] One for her value here on the river. – 32? [Dealer] 32.
– Did you really get that lucky? You probably wouldn’t bet Kings, Kings are no good. You probably wouldn’t bet Jacks, I can beat those too. You’re a tournament player so you love to bluff. My instincts say I’m supposed to put it in.
You’re not bad enough to call a raise with Ace, King on the flop are you? Maybe. Tournament players do weird things. – [Stapleton] Needle her with the tournament player jab.
– Why would you bluff? Logic’s messing me up here. I call. – [Stapleton] Sorry Phil.
– I would’ve called as well Phil. – Yeah. -I would have.
– She played it well. – [Phil] Well she’s a tournament player so I know- – [Cate] I’m not a tournament player. – [Phil] You play this like a tournament player I think. – [Stapleton] I’m surprised Phil didn’t just say, “Nice hand Cate Hall.. …Not!” – Okay who wants a piece of me, here we go.
– Gut shot. – Uh oh, not Todd. – Back on with the war Dennis. Okay. (bleep) That’s what you get for throwing that war on.
– Okay I haven’t looked, but I’m gonna try to suck out on you this time alright? – [Stapleton] This is going to take a major suck out to run down Aces with Ace, Jack. I’d rather have nine-seven. – I will check before the cards come out, how ’bout that? I’ll set up your own death here.
– [Stapleton] Six, seven, eight, nine, that’s something right? That is a small straight if you’re playing Yatzzi. But it’s open-ended if you’re playing poker. Who says there’s no women in poker? Check out the rail. – [Phil] You sold it well though.
– [Cate] Thank you. – [Phil] I learnt a lot though, that’s what always happens to me. – [Stapleton] Chris can you handle this while I go down there, I wanna make sure she doesn’t get away. – [Phil] In the old days it was better because, against all the great players, I’d play with them, I’d learn and I got to play with them all the time. – [Hanson] Brunson raises to 625.
[Stapleton] If I’m Cantu, I kind of like the fact that Todd put more money into this pot. I think that’s an auto call, he’s probably just taking his time so it doesn’t look like a draw. [Stapleton] Hello! No waiting on the turn, look at that. Cantu makes his straight. It’s a fairly disguised straight.
– 650. – [Stapleton] I don’t think Todd can really assume this five undid him. But when Brandon gets raised on the flop and then still fires, small on the turn, that’s gotta look kinda suspicious.
It’s like he’s just asking to get raised again. Yeah Todd knows something’s up. -I’m all in. So Todd calls, Brandon ships it dark. Best card for him on the river would’ve been an Ace. I just don’t know, if Brandon makes that same move with a hand that Aces is beating now.
Like would he do it with just a seven? Would he do it with Ace, Queen? I think Todd might find a way to get away from this. Oh he calls.
– Straight? – Yep. – [Stapleton] Aces cracked. When we come back we’ll find out who’s up at Choctaw next. – Married 26 years.
– Some how managed to be married 26 years and be a poker player. – That’s not an easy feat I can tell you right now. – It means you have to win. – Winning is definitely helpful. – Five hundred.
You both missed the flop, didn’t you? You’re gonna call hoping you can suck out against me anyway. – Yup, that’s it exactly. – [Hanson] Closed captioning is brought to you as a public service by Poker Night In America. – [Hanson] We will finish up Day One next time on ‘Poker Night In America’. No real big winners, although Cate Hall is the leader at the halfway point.
She’s up eight thousand dollars. Jim Carroll and Phil Hellmuth spent so much time going at it, I didn’t even have time to say anything dumb about Cate Hall, so I’m declaring myself the winner. Hellmuth is in the plus column for a change, but can he stay there? We’ll continue Day One next time. – Stay alive Phil, I will find you.
– For more from ‘Poker Night In America’ visit pokernight.com or, hook up with us on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and Twitch, for up to date information, full episodes and un-edited live streams. For Joe Stapleton, I’m Chris Hanson, see you next time, here on ‘Poker Night In America’. – You’re gonna keep whining, I got some pampers for you. – I think I need these right now.